Listed below are the lyrics to two of my more well-known songs, Stairfoot Rarndabart and The Old Club Trip. They are both written the way they are sung and are excellent examples of the well-known Barnsley dialect!
The canal is closed. The railway’s shut. SPOKEN
There’s only one way through that dam Stairfoot.
I’d like to get me hands upon the fart who thowt up the Stairfoot Rarndabart.
Am allus stuck at leets at red, them green uns musta fused
Thuzs a bus lane down the middle that’s never ever used
Why dunt sumdy guen soert that plonker art that dreamt up that Stairfoot Rarndabart.
Verse--1
Ar wunce set off to see mi Uncle Ronnie. He lives on the outskirts o’ Donny.
Ar set off darn through the tarn, he war suffering frum the ‘flu.
Got down to the Ashfield, I joined a gret big queue.
At last Ar got tu mi Uncle Ronnie’s. Who That’s him just this side o’ Donny
He war sick wi’ worry, he poured his troubles art.
Ar towld him he war sorry an blamed that Rarndabart. Bur ard like to---
Verse—2
Gorra a phone call frum mi sister Kath, emergency on’tuther side o’ Wath
A crawled up tu the rarndabart mi head gasket blew.
It’s like the Wacky races thuz a sale at B an Q
At last ar got tu Kaths warra laugh. It seeams she got stuck in the bath
It took me and three neighbours tu pull poor wuman art
She cudda bloody drarnded all through that Rarndabart. Bur ard like to--
Hey yup here I am. I war browt up on bread and jam.
We went to the seaside for the day. Everybody shouted "Hip hip hooray"